Guy writes about what he and other men can do to (1) stop reacting to women’s stories of violence and fear of violence with the “not all men/ not me” auto-response and (2) work towards challenging violence against women and the victim-blaming that surrounds it. Guy is hit with comments from men saying “NOT ALL MEN/ NOT ME”, arguing that women have too many of them there “blurred lines” anyway, and claiming that men can do nothing any more because of that FEMINISM. Sometimes you couldn’t even make the internet up.
Let’s talk for just a moment about this #YesAllWomen thing. To be honest, when I first read it, I did what a lot of you did. I got defensive. The reason why is because I don’t rape women, I don’t look down on anyone, and I try to be respectful to everyone. So when I see women talking about living in fear it doesn’t register with me right away because I’m not someone that tries to inflict that fear.
The problem is that so many guys that feel this way don’t say, “hmm, what can I do to help this situation?” Instead, they get online and try to convince women that their feelings are false or that it’s their own fault for being fearful. That’s not helping. There are also men who have been attacked, abused, and live in fear. We all know this, but here’s what you have to realize:
It’s #YesAllWomen, not #YesAllWomenAndNoManWhatsoever.
Sure, there are males that experience this, but that doesn’t somehow negate the fact that all women do as well. I don’t understand why raising awareness of women’s rights makes men feel the need to say “well, it’s hard for me, too!” It’s not a contest. Sometimes it’s good to just listen instead of trying to convince those speaking that it’s just as bad for you. It’s like if your parents died and you started sharing deep personal feelings of how it affected you. Imagine doing that and someone says “well, a lot of other people lost their parents too, and their story is just as bad!”