#saturdaysatire: woman with job constantly described as ‘fiercely independent’

Jennifer Marsh, who works an administrative job at a law firm, is frequently labeled “fiercely independent” by those who know her. Marsh has heard the label from friends, family, acquaintances, and even coworkers, all inspired by her unquenchable drive to maintain basic employment. “I never knew so little effort could garner this much attention,” reveals Marsh, who works as a […]

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#saturdaysatire: Woman arrested for crossing line of assertive yet non-threatening (down with this sort of thing) – @reductress

Early this morning, 37-year-old Toni Larkin was arrested for menacing and endangering the welfare of an entire Starbucks coffee shop after correcting someone who cut her in line. Despite earlier reports, the method in which she corrected the cutter was decidedly cranky, un-self-conscious, and not sexy. No injuries are reported at this time and the suspect is in custody. After […]

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#saturdaysatire: Five heroic male feminists who deserve the recognition they demand – @Reductress

1. Kyle Tolliver man. On January 18, 2015, Kyle Tolliver embarked on a heroic and selfless five-paragraph-long Facebook rant about the wage gap and mystifyingly received no phone numbers or messages of gratitude from hot women, even though he clearly demonstrated a keen understanding of what women go through every day of their lives. Kyle’s empathy was unparalleled, and yet, […]

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#saturdaysatire: International Women’s Day ruined by men

THE continued existence of the planet’s men is impeding the ability of women to enjoy International Women’s Day on their own terms, WWN has learned. The section of the male half of the earth’s population that specialise in leering and fawning as well as contrary and loutish behaviour have directly contributed to ruining the one day of the year dedicated […]

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#saturdaysatire: reeling in the years, 1957: women officially upgraded to second class citizens by Irish government

In a move that has shocked many people in this country John A. Costello and his government have officially upgraded the status of women in Ireland to 2nd class citizens. The Taoiseach did not provide an explanation as to why the decision was made but so-called women’s advocacy groups have praised the move. Up until today’s decision women in Ireland […]

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#saturdaysatire: woman feels like she’s finally ready to start receiving unsolicited vulgar messages again

Explaining that she had needed a few months to herself to “get back to the right emotional place,” local woman Laura Berman told reporters Monday she finally felt ready to start receiving completely unsolicited and extremely vulgar messages again. “It was really important to have some time to regroup, but now I think I’m ready to put myself out there […]

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#saturdaysatire: woman celebrates another successful year of downplaying her accomplishments

Year-end employee reviews can be intimidating for women in the workplace, who may find themselves questioning whether or not to negotiate for raises and expanded benefits. But 34-year-old Carolyn Weissman has found a perfect solution: Humbly decline praise and revel in career stagnation. “My secret to success is simple,” says Weissman. “I just redefine ‘success’ as ‘quietly sliding by unnoticed.’” […]

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#saturdaysatire: Man corners woman to explain he is ‘one of the good ones’

After being confronted about sexual jokes made about his female coworkers, 35-year-old employee Bret Raybould cornered project manager Libbie Sabo to explain that he’s “one of the good ones” and she “doesn’t even know everything he does for women” and that she should “watch what she says” since he is “nice”. “He’s really trying to drive his point home,” said […]

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