#saturdaysatire: six personality traits guys hate in women (unless she’s a hottie) – @reductress

Useful information on How to Behave, at last.

Ever meet a guy who seems super interested in you at first, but after a date suddenly won’t return your calls? Your personality might be turning this guy off without even realizing it. That’s why we’ve outlined seven major DON’Ts that you need to avoid when interacting with guys, unless you’re hot, in which case it really couldn’t matter less. Go ahead ­– be a demon! Guys will still wanna fuck you.

Gossiping

Girls bond through gossip, but it actually drives guys away! When you make some snarky comment behind someone’s back, a guy might think, “She’s really negative.” Instead, try to focus on things you enjoy or have in common, like all his favorite TV shows and movies! Or, if you’re willing to go to the gym every day and do something about that hair, you could just say whatever petty shit you want and you’ll be fine.

Being a know-it-all.

Men like women who are smart, not smartasses, so don’t try to prove him wrong over something trivial, even if you have a degree in it and he just read a HuffPo article on the subject. That said, if your proportions conform to some arcane societal standards, you’ll find men glad to be “challenged” by you. Easy!

Coming on too strong/PDA.

Yes, girls can make the first move. But guys hate it when girls fawn over them, especially when he’s out with his friends. This rule does not apply if you’re gorgeous. In that case, do whatever you want. Gigi Hadid could literally crap on a man’s face and he would be like, “She’s the best.”

Flirting with everyone.

Seriously, ladies! Flirting doesn’t make him “want you more” to see that he might lose you to whatever other fella wanders in. Playing hard-to-get won’t get you anywhere! But anyone above a seven-and-a-half (coastal standards) can straight-up ignore this one. Congrats!

Being super serious.

Talking about politics over drinks or mentioning recently deceased family members are both no-no’s. Who wants to date Debbie Downer? If, however, you happen to be pretty good-looking or really great-looking, go ahead let it out! Art boys will love you and everyone else will try to fix you!

Vanity

Constantly checking your reflection in shop windows? Obsessing over the calories in all your food? Pestering guys for their outfit opinions when you should have been ready a half-hour ago? Vanity just makes you seem completely shallow, which guys hate in women except for they don’t notice it if that calorie counting and hair-adjusting and ensemble-designing work has paid off and you look good. In that case they’re like, “Me want bang it, me no care how it behave!!”

Ladies, we cannot stress this enough: Put lipstick on a pig and it’s still a pig. We have no idea what that means, but what we do know is you should put lipstick on your best self and avoid these negative personality traits. Completely ignore all of this if you’re hot!

From: Reductress