#saturdaysatire: average woman spends 45% of her time forgetting to do her laundry – @reductress
A recent study out of Oklahoma State University has found that the average woman spends as much as 45% of her time forgetting to do her laundry.
The 12-year study followed over 1,200 women of diverse backgrounds and lifestyles and found that the one thing they all had in common is that they spend nearly half their lives not doing their laundry and then being like, “Oh shit, I forgot to do my laundry!”
Though scientists were amazed at their findings, they did not exactly send shockwaves through the community, as most women already knew them to be true. However, they did make almost every woman who read the study think, “Wait…did I finish that second load? No, no I didn’t. Fuck.”
The study did not look into causal links, but interviews with the subjects did point to some answers regarding why the average woman spends less of her lifetime sleeping than going, “Ugh, I still do not have clean underwear, I guess I never will.”
“I think that since laundry is a never-ending hell cycle, that it’s technically never done,” explained one female participant, who wished to remain anonymous to protect her family. “I am trapped in a life that is mostly having to do laundry and I cannot escape. Sometimes I curl up in a ball and put myself in the laundry to signal my need for help, but no one notices and then it hurts.”
The longitudinal study found that even those participants that drop their dirty clothing off at a laundromat spend an extra 20% of their life forgetting to go pick it up and then screaming, “FUCK!” when they get there and it’s already closed.
It is still unclear why almost no one in the whole world can just do their laundry in a timely manner without it taking over their life, but science says it’s probably the laundry’s fault somehow.