#saturdaysatire: app responds to group messages with ‘hahahaaaa’ every 45 texts – @reductress

Earlier this week, a much-needed new app was released by a group of Silicon Valley engineers. The new iMessage extension called, Hahhahaha will allow people to spend much less time monitoring their group chats by simply sending the automated response, “hahahaaaa” every 45 texts.

The app was designed for anyone who’s ever gotten up to pee, come back, and had 20 unread messages waiting for them from a group chat they never even signed up for in the first place, or for anyone without the time to search for a generic GIF in response to their college squash team’s annual reunion.

Hahhahaha is the first app extension intelligent enough to assess when there are multiple people you don’t care to answer in a group message, and will release a, “hahahaaaa” every 45 texts, giving the illusion that you’re there and paying attention. Reviews have called it, “sort of excessive” but also, “pretty effective”, and you can now purchase it in the app store to immediately end your active involvement in any unwanted group messages.

Users can also download a free version, which includes an unlimited amount of “hahahaaaa” messages per month, as well as an algorithm to increases the frequency of the hahahaaaas based on a higher volume of unsaved numbers in the group. For just $2.99, a premium version will also vary the number of h’s or a’s in the “hahahaaaa” so it appears random, in case anyone suspects your responses of being automated. A monthly “lol” will also be randomly released in your most active, and hated, group text.

The creators of Please Stop It are working on an additional app that recognizes vacation pictures and automatically responds with, “So jealous!” However, until then, Please Stop It remains revolutionary in its automation of the most frequently warranted group message response: hahahaaaa.

From: Reductress