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#womenslives; #womensstories: I have never been sexually assaulted.When I was eight, I was riding my bike down a main street in my home town when a group of men drove by. I would never have noticed them if one hadn’t yelled, “I WANT TO LICK YOUR PUSSY!” to me through the rolled down window as they passed. The men probably laughed and quickly forgot, but I didn’t. The words burned in my stomach and, again, I was the one who felt ashamed. I wasn’t even angry at that man or his friends, only embarrassed that this had happened to me. As a result, I never told anyone, and anyway, what crime had occurred? No report was made.I have never been sexually assaulted.One day when I was 13, I was walking down the hall of my junior high between classes. I was alone, and saw a boy I didn’t like walking towards me. He and another boy would often say nasty things to my friends and I. Once they followed us for several blocks, loudly talking about what they could do to us, bragging that we wouldn’t be able to stop them. As he got close to me in the hallway, I edged towards the wall in order to get as far away from him as possible, but it didn’t help. The boy shoved me up against the wall, pinning me and my arms full of books. He put his face next to mine as he shoved one hand up my shirt, rubbing the crotch of my jeans with the other.As I walked into my classroom, my face burned with shame, hoping no one had seen. When asked, I refused to tell anyone what was wrong. I lied and said I just didn’t feel very good. It never even crossed my mind to tell anyone. I was completely humiliated. No report was made.I have never been sexually assaulted.When I was 15, I knew a boy who was a couple years older than me whose father let us drink at his house. So we did… A lot.One afternoon I was there drinking with two boys and I drank so much I became sick. I threw up over the side of the front porch — so drunk I was incapacitated. One of the boys (who later went on to marry a friend of mine) came up behind me, unhooked my bra, and fondled my breasts as I vomited.The next morning, I received a phone call from a friend, who told me that the boy had told everyone that we’d had sex. I couldn’t remember much of about had happened, but I knew this wasn’t true. I was on my period and hadn’t brought any tampons with me, but when I woke up my tampon was still exactly where I had placed it before I’d begun drinking.I couldn’t talk to any adults about what he’d done — I wasn’t supposed to be drinking and didn’t want to get in trouble or get my friend’s father in trouble. At the time, I believed the drinking was the secret that needed to remain hidden. This was the 80s and, as John Hughes had taught us, “pass out/put out” was a valid way for boys to have sex. No report was made

I have never been sexually assaulted: feministcurrentDeidre Pearson is currently a student at The Evergreen State College and lives in the United States near Portland, Oregon.