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I evened my tone so I would come across more authoritative, began counting how many times I said “sorry,” and re-worded e-mails so that I didn’t say “just.” The arguments are familiar: Don’t undermine yourself! Don’t temper your opinions! Have more confidence in yourself! Count how many times you say it so you can see the scope of the problem! It makes you sound weak!

-@paymyrant on @ESTBLSHMNT

I had this conversation just yesterday. I wasn’t being told how to speak, or telling anyone else how to speak, but we were two women laughing at the number of times this has happened, and the ways in which we are told to amend our [hysterical, giggly, shrill, apologetic etc. etc.] tones. And we laugh, and we laughed yesterday, and we know better, and we see all of the problems with it, but we still amend. Our wimmin training™ is solid.

On @ESTBLSHMNT:

As women, we get this kind of advice all the time. It seems like every week there is a new article popping up to “helpfully” guide professional women toward behavior that will allow them be successful. Commonly proffered tips include: Stop saying “sorry” so much. Don’t use filler words like “like” or “um.” Don’t speak with vocal fry. Quit saying “just.” And don’t even think about using “I feel like.” There’s even a cottage industry growing up around the policing of women’s language; recently, Chrome launched an app to help you stop saying “sorry” or “just” in your e-mails.

The arguments are familiar: Don’t undermine yourself! Don’t temper your opinions! Have more confidence in yourself! Count how many times you say it so you can see the scope of the problem! It makes you sound weak!

At the core of this is a belief that women can’t naturally express themselves in a professional manner; they must alter their speech so that they can stop getting in their own way. I do not accept this—for several reasons.

© and read on: - @paymyrant: How about we stop policing women’s language? (theestablishment.co)
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