#womenslives: he thinks you’re a hoe anyway! the -1 vs. +1 woman’s value theory – @thefeministwire

By the by, this is a really great series of posts (feministwire) where women talk about their lives, stories, experiences, and feminisms. Look for emerging feminisms on feministwire. This one:

He Thinks You’re A Hoe Anyway! The -1 vs. +1 Woman’s Value Theory

Narrative: A woman’s “value” lowers as her sexual partners increases, while a man’s “value” rises as his sexual partners increases.

Our global culture still holds women morally accountable for our sexual endeavors so it is necessary to speak in value as a commodity term in order to understand current perceptions of women’s sexuality. It is astonishing that the popular “bro” culture whereby men are celebrated for their sexual conquests is not held to the same standard to the “girls gone wild” culture. The commodity model states that when I, a woman, have sex it adds +1 to my count of sexual partners, but it actually decreases my value count to -1. While the man I just had sex with goes from 0 to +1 in value.

This model is grounded in dominant heterosexual systems of gender and sexual inequalities, thus I use the term “value” loosely since I am against how society imposes standards of womanhood and purity. The standard is as follows: women must have less sex in order to be more desirable while a man is entitled to unlimited sexual partners. In what sense is this fair? Just as the master’s tools do not bring down the master’s house, archaic standards for measuring a woman’s value need to be eliminated in order for us to progress as a modern society. Jessica Valenti (2009: 49) argues, “our world values women so little and so specifically for our sexuality.” So a value disposition undermines our very nature and creates an illusion of separateness amongst two genders.

Double standard, if ever there was one

I use sex to depict this problem of a frustrating double standard because I have struggled with expressing my sexuality, as an Afghan woman, from a Muslim background living in the western world that has taught me to identify the most with my freedom and autonomy. I see how I am expected to adhere to certain “womanly” requirements, such as dressing modestly (not to mention the looks I get when I am weight lifting at the gym) and when I don’t comply to dogma, I am shunned by dominant groups and ideologies. From this experience, I have learned that we create divides and dehumanize one other when we use measurements like “value” to view each other.

I envision a utopia where I am not merely an object of desire or a damsel in distress. I envision a point in time where expressing my sexuality is neither taboo, shameful, nor embarrassing. By challenging the status quo I am pointing towards the impending need for sexual liberation.

© and read the rest: EMERGING FEMINISMS, He Thinks You’re A Hoe Anyway! The -1 vs. +1 Woman’s Value Theory (feministwire, by Mohadesa Najumi)

#womenslives: he thinks you’re a hoe anyway! the -1 vs. +1 woman’s value theory – @thefeministwire