BERKELEY, CA - Witnesses report local ukulele owner and polyamorous man Rick Walcott graciously explained the core concepts of feminism to a group of female undergraduate students Saturday night during a house party near the University of California – Berkeley campus.

“The thing is, women have been oppressed for so long that it’s not even about equality anymore,” Walcott said loudly, casually adjusting his man bun. “It’s about actively pushing women to the the forefront of the conversation — giving them an easier path to management positions in the workforce.”

Sources indicate Christina Lopez, an Art History major at UC-Berkeley, tried to engage with Walcott, voicing that she “just wants to be treated equal to my male counterparts and not,” but he cut her off. “No. No, it’s too late for that,” witnesses say Walcott snapped. “It would never work. The men won’t let that idea work. Trust me: I know what I’m talking about.”

One witness reported Walcott went on to generously explain the feminist ideals of power dynamics in polyamorous relationships.

“Katy and I are in love with each other, but also free to explore our feelings with other people,” said Walcott. “For example, I have another girlfriend, and also hook up with different people when I go out to parties just like this one. Katy is more monogamous, but that’s her choice. It all works out just as I planned — I mean it all works out perfectly,” he said, tuning his hand-carved ukulele and eyeing women passing by.

© and from: The Hard Times