#saturdaysatire: fun summer cocktails when they ask you ‘well, what were you drinking?

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(TW)

GOD BLESS YOU, reductress, you are amazing. 

All week, reductress, the best feminist satire site on the web (well, perhaps the only, really) has dedicated its front page to taking down rape culture (screenshot above/ over there). Each piece is better (and by that, I mean, right on point) than the next, I’m sure of it, so I’m just going to link to several. I did like this first headline, though:

Fun summer cocktails when they ask you ‘well, what were you drinking‘?

Summer time and living’s easy! Unless you’re being questioned about a traumatic sexual assault. Luckily, there are refreshing and light cocktails in season, which you can throw back when police, detectives, doctors, friends, and acquaintances ask you, “Well, what were you drinking that night?”

Man who sexually assaulted you likes your facebook post about assault.

In an odd turn of events, the Facebook post you wrote this week describing your experience of being sexually assaulted, including the emotions and trauma and the inadequate resources for protecting victims of sexual assault in your community, was “liked” by the assaulter himself.

At the time of the event’s discovery you were overheard saying, “What the fuck?!” out loud to yourself and could soon be seen screenshotting the “like” to send to a group of close friends as you started to feel like you legitimately couldn’t breathe.

Friends were equally WTF.

One friend sent the exchange to another friend who reportedly texted back “oh yeah that same thing happened to me too. wtf?”

I anonymously reported my rape for the anonymous attention.

About a year ago, I was raped by a co-worker. It was a traumatic experience that shattered my entire world. When I anonymously reported the crime, the police insisted it was my fault; and when the story was picked up by the news, I was accused of making the accusation “for attention.”

And you know what? They’re right: I anonymously reported my rape for the anonymous attention.

There’s nothing more thrilling than being publicly dragged through the mud as strangers speculate about why you deserved to have a horrific crime committed against you. Most women dread this ritual of victim-shaming, but not me. I reported the crime because I wanted some attention, without any of the attention specifically aimed at me.

What can I say? I’ve just always kind of been one of those people who feeds on drama!

This brave man hates social media witch hunts so much he decided to start his own.

Ready to be inspired?

Faced with the difficult decision of having to either listen to women or talk over them, one man spoke above the crowd in his brave yet endearing attempt to make somebody else’s rape about himself. 29-year-old Dave Harrison was sick of seeing public attacks on an alleged rapist, and so he asked for that energy to be put elsewhere.

“I hate this society we live in where social media dictates how we should discuss things,” Harrison tweeted this morning to his thirty thousand followers. “These witch hunts started by @AmandaNewman, @KatieLeGuin and @BethanyDiaz cannot be tolerated.”

Harrison then encouraged his followers to tweet at these women in order to put an end to what he calls “social media lynch mobs.”

Chill ways to just sort of live with it (best way, amirite?)

Try This Breathing Exercise:

Breathe in for a count of 5, hold for a count of 5, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding…

Check them all out, folks. I’ve long been a fan of satirical humour for challenging issues du jour and reductress smashes it out of the park here.