#saturdaysatire: brave man saves woman from internalized sexism

A strong, intelligent man freed a woman from her inner shackles on Friday when he yelled at her for reapplying lipstick in a bar.

“I just never thought about makeup as a tool of societal oppression before,” says Heather Durning, 24, of Los Angeles. “Thank God he was there to explain it to me.”

Chet Blakely, 32, savior of womankind, knew he had to step in when he saw Durning hand her drink to her date and reach inside her purse.

“I walked up to her and was just like, ‘Yo, that’s really fucked,’” says Blakely. “At first I could tell she was kind of like, ‘What is this guy’s deal?’ which I get a lot because my ideas are so radical, but I think after I explained what sexism is she could tell I was a nice guy.”

“At first I was like, ‘What?’” Durning confirms, “But then he kept saying he was a nice guy and I at least owed him a coffee date, so I figured, ‘yeah, he seems nice.’”

Blakely explained to Durning that certain choices she makes have been instilled in her by a system of oppression and should be eschewed, even if they’re behaviors she enjoys. “Plus, you look pretty without lipstick,” he added, touching her upper arm.

“Women should break free from societal conventions, especially the convention that they shouldn’t be openly sexual,” says Blakely. “There just aren’t that many feminist guys out there and women are running around sleeping with the wrong kinds of men when they could be getting showered in respect from guys like me.”

Durning learned a lot from Blakely before leaving the bar with her boyfriend, including that “monogamy is just another trapping of the patriarchy.”

Blakely will continue his efforts to educate women about their own internalized sexism, but hopes that next time his attempts will be more fruitful.

“Woulda been nice if she’d gone home with me, but she seemed kind of stuck up and trapped in her oppressed views,” he says. “Whatever, her loss.”

© and source: reductress