Imagine you’re 15 years old. You go to the emergency room because you slammed your finger in a door, and you walk out with the biggest news of your life. Well, that 15-year-old was me.

A Simple Hospital Visit

I was a freshman in high school, and the week before, I had slammed my finger in a car door. At first it was just painful, red and swollen, but then a blood clot formed that wouldn’t go away. So my mother decided to take me to the hospital. Everything was normal at the beginning. I went through triage (getting my temperature taken, peeing in a cup, explaining what was wrong with my finger, etc.). Then I was put into a room where I waited with my mother to see a doctor. The doctor came in and explained that I needed a pregnancy test before I could get an x-ray to find out if my finger was broken. I didn’t think I was pregnant because I had gotten my period.

“I don’t regret having an abortion for one second because it was a conscious decision that I made; I regret not being informed enough to know to check if the condom was put on right. That is my one regret.”
We waited a long time to have someone take me for an x-ray, and as my mother went out to ask for the doctor, the doctor came in. The look on the doctor’s face was one of pity, sympathy and a little disgust. She sat at the end of the bed, looked down and said, “Your test came back positive.” At first, I was confused because I hadn’t taken any test. She must have seen my face because she said, “Your pregnancy test.” My mom, looked at her and said, “No, that’s not right. That must be wrong.” The doctor looked at my mother and said, “I tested it three times.” After she said that, my mother got up and left. I felt so confused and scared. This had to be the worst moment of my life. My mom just left because I suppose she needed to process, and so did I.

It was only once, I said to myself. It was with a condom. All I kept thinking was, How is this happening to me? This can’t happen to me. I’m too smart for this. And I cried right there in room 63 of the hospital.

Finally after about 30 minutes, my mother came back looking so pale even for her dark complexion. The doctor walked in and explained that they couldn’t do an x-ray because I was pregnant. But they could get rid of the blood clot she explained. I was given a splint just in case I had a break. She referred me to a gynecologist to confirm that I was pregnant, and I was discharged.

On the way home, my mother tried to hold a conversation with me, but I couldn’t talk. I had too much going on in my head. I was feeling so lost, so unhinged, so scared. Even if I wanted to talk, I didn’t know what to say. The next day I went to the gynecologist, and it was confirmed that I was indeed six weeks pregnant.

Source: My Decision to Have an Abortion - Sex, Etc.

(Excerpt etc. first posted on feimineach.com. Orig. attribution above.)

women's stories: my decision to have an abortion