#saturdaysatire: Irish Government Purchase New Rug To Sweep Abortion Problem Under

LULz! But also: srs.

THE Government has announced the exclusive purchase of a new rug which is believed to be long enough to cover all the floors in Leinster House, allowing Government officials to effectively sweep problems relating to Irish abortion laws under it.

“We had the lads out in IKEA at the start of the summer, but there’s just so much choice, you know, it’s hard to make a decision,” a Government source told WWN.

“Our requirements were obviously very specific, this had to be a massive, massive rug. You can’t just sweep this problem under any old thing. We’ll get it installed before the Dáil is back in session so they don’t have to answer any questions about it,” the source confirmed.

The purchase of the new rug is a progressive new strategy which perfectly compliments the moving ceremony earlier this year, which saw the Government hand over the responsibility for solving the constitutional conundrum to the next generation.

Rug experts believe the Government have chosen one of IKEA’s most popular rugs Abortenprublen, which a number of families have in Ireland have purchased in the past, but will have to staple several rugs together to properly cover everything up.

“Well obviously after telling the Nation’s youth ‘fuck it, you can sort it out down the line’, we needed to stop everyone talking about this abortion stuff, and it is a lovely rug with plenty of room underneath it in fairness,” a Fine Gael TD told WWN.

From: Waterford Whispers News