#saturdaysatire: I don’t support feminism if it means murdering all men

Good points well made.

Like any other socially conscious woman, I am a firm believer in gender equality. Ending workplace discrimination, making reproductive health care affordable—I’ve championed these goals my whole life. They’re important to me, and that’s why the feminist movement frustrates me so much. I’m sorry, but I simply cannot and will not support feminism if it means murdering all men.

I understand why some people might believe the only way to advance women’s rights is to slaughter every man on the planet, but that sort of radical, explicitly homicidal position, which for all I know is a fundamental aspect of feminism, is exactly what makes me hesitate to call myself a feminist.

Do I agree with closing the pay gap, ensuring universal access to birth control, and ending the objectification of women? Absolutely, and if that’s all feminism were about, I would get on board without any hesitation. Assuming feminists start advocating that we hunt down all the world’s men and boys, load them onto trains bound for death camps, and systematically massacre them solely on the basis of their sex, then that’s where I draw the line.

Of course, I don’t deny there are some misogynists out there whose behavior needs to be stopped. But I can’t help but think there has to be a better way to nurture the cause of social justice than, conceivably, having feminists instruct women to obtain assault weapons and drive to the nearest populated area so they can begin gunning down every human male they see.

Am I alone in thinking that would be an overreaction?

Consider the men in your own life. How would you feel if they were murdered? I have a loving father, two brothers, and a wonderful fiancé, not to mention countless male friends—each of whom I know for a fact respects women. I don’t want to kill them with my bare hands! I don’t care how noble the goals of the feminist movement are; should joining that cause require me to strangle every man I care about until the life slowly drains from his body, I just don’t want to be a part of it.

And just to be perfectly clear, we’re not talking about eliminating a few specific men on a case-by-case basis; we’re talking about the annihilation of roughly half the human population, presumably! To be sure, there are probably thousands of women-haters in the world who deserve to be locked up, but what feminists may be contemplating here is a program that would condemn approximately 3.6 billion people to immediate and extremely gruesome deaths just for being male, and that, to me at least, is going too far. Even if they were to do it painlessly by gassing or poisoning all the men, in my opinion it’s all part of the same arbitrary, hypothetical man-killing agenda that I won’t support.

Source and rest: The Onion