I linked to the piece below for another reason recently but I read something quickly that I wanted to come back to. It was this. The piece was about lad culture on our campuses and part of the piece discussed the so called “nice guys” who ostensibly object to this ladism. I was intrigued by what one of these “nice guys” said to the writer of the piece: confidence = promiscuity, tattoos also = promiscuity, and intelligence ≠ “sluttery” (or, put another way, being sexually active is somehow linked to low intelligence – in women). How many offensive, ill-informed, and misguided tropes do you think this guy normally manages to fit into his conversations? They’re three little beauties right there. It might be just one person’s anecdote but I’ll bet we can all think of a time when we’ve heard similar.
Some guys participate in this culture to be one of the lads. Then there are guys who make a point of showing that they don’t buy into lad culture. They come across as the ‘nice guys’, the ones who frown upon those who openly treat women as sexual objects. Yet some of them demonstrate the same sense of entitlement felt by the men they disdain. They feel that, as the good guys, they are better than their peers and deserve not only a woman but, essentially, a fairy-tale princess – a girl who is sweet, innocent, pure and utterly devoted to them
I recently got told by one such guy that my confident attitude “makes [him] think there’s a darker side to [me], hence why I’d say you’ve got a promiscuous edge”. He also told me that my tattoo on my lower back reinforced this, clearly using his magical man intuition, mantuition if you will, to determine my sexual habits from my confidence and choice in body art.
Then in a seemingly random turnaround, I was told that I’m too intelligent to be “any old slag” and should therefore “be treated better than such”. The implication, notwithstanding the insulting use of the word ‘slag’, being that women with active sexual lives are somehow unintelligent. Or that, as a woman, to want to sleep with multiple partners you must be stupid as you should be saving it for your prince.
The piece: thefword.