Excellent tongue-in-cheek analysis.
Imagine being so much of a loser that you get out a biro and write the word “winner” on your hand, in a desperate attempt to suppress the knowledge of just how how pathetic you are. Imagine being so confused and distracted sexually that you consider watching your fave non-sexual TV programmes – say, Holby City, or perhaps the footie – the perfect accompaniment to orgasm. Imagine taking a photo of a faceless woman giving you a blowjob and tweeting it to 23,000 laddish followers, just so they can raise a glass at your cock being sucked since that’s sure as hell not happening to them. Imagine then then following this up with random tweets offering “respect” to dead soldiers and kids in wheelchairs, just to demonstrate that deep down, you adhere to a mawkish, sentimental “I love ya, bro” code of ethics straight out of a Carlsberg ad. Imagine … Actually, I have no idea why I am asking you to imagine any of this. It’s bad enough that so many lonely male students apparently aspire to live it.
When I was at university, UniLAD did not exist. Back in the day, if you wanted a bit of fake-ironic sexism you had either to pay for it by buying Loaded or make your own. When studying for my masters I had the pleasure of sharing a house with a couple of lads – men? boys? – who were experts at the latter. Frank and Aaron divided female students into three types: slags (women who shagged other men but not them), prick teases (women who didn’t shag other men and refused to make exceptions for them) and lesbians (women in monogamous relationships with a partner of either sex, who did not however happen to be Frank or Aaron). For at least two terms, I managed to convince myself that this was all some weird, unfunny joke. I simply could not believe that these men – these graduate students! – possessed a hatred of women that I’d never witnessed before in any of the men with whom I’d grown up. They couldn’t possibly mean the things they said! But they never stopped saying them, so the sincerity or lack of it ceased to matter.
[Read more: glosswatch]